October 17th

This marks my first post on Her Soul Repair! My hope for this website is to lend my words and heart to women who’ve experienced hardship in their marriage. Whether you are fighting for your marriage, picking up the pieces, healing from divorce, or rocking the blended family, I want to create support and community. If you’re interested in my story and background, head on over to my about page. My choice to launch Her Soul Repair on this very day is a huge testament to God’s provision. October 17th. This day used to give me butterflies just thinking about it. On this day six years ago, the man of my dreams asked me to be his wife. Never in a million years did I think that this man would leave my life looking as it does today. We all know that even the best laid plans take their sudden turns. I’ve always known that life is imperfect and disappointment comes when we least expect it. However, in my mind, with marriage came this commitment that did not waver. My expectations for marriage were not a fairytale. Life’s realities, the division of labor, the miscommunications, the plain old bad days. However, one expectation I did have was for the commitment to keep going.

The up and down side to commitment is it takes two people. You cannot sustain a marriage with a one-sided commitment. It took some time and grief for me to realize this. I wanted so badly for my marriage to be saved that I was ready to take both sides of the commitment. However, my best efforts failed. Many of us have endured personal failure in marriage. Something you would have done differently or wished wouldn’t have happened. If there’s one thing I’ve learned about failure, it’s that it leaves you in a rare state of freedom. Freedom from pride, perfection, and pressure. My ego had never experienced such a blow as when my marriage was falling apart. And with that blow came a beautiful level of humility. The picture perfect life I had suddenly was a facade. The raw freedom from perfection reminded me that God’s purpose prevails regardless of our plans.  

God’s love for us is interwoven intricately through all of our life plans. God’s purpose in the happenings of marriage is revealed through both joy and sorrow, the good times and the bad. My prayer is that you cling to this Truth and let God’s peace transform YOU, regardless of circumstances. I never thought my circumstances would take this day, once marked by a blissful future, and turn it into the launch of this beautiful community. Yet here I am, thankful to the max that God’s purpose far exceeded my plans.