Motherhood (part four)
I hope you’ve been enjoying all of the mama goodness this week on the blog. As you know, lately, I have been preaching Rachel Hollis pretty hard. I read her latest book, Girl, Wash Your Face, and it changed my life in so many ways. I often meditate on her words about motherhood. I know it’s not just me that feels the constant judgement/guilt about how to be a good mom. Parenting styles, family dynamics, working moms, stay at home moms … not to mention all of the little intricacies that make up this little human you’re trying to raise. It’s all VERY overwhelming if you let it be. I remind myself of a few truths when I struggle in mommyland. The first one came from a grandma I met at the park when I was past due with my son, just waiting to become a mom of two, desperate to take in any wisdom she had from her years as a mother. She told me, “You can’t take all the blame and you can’t take all the credit.” Our best efforts sometimes fail because, well, our kids aren’t robots. We could train, redirect, punish, praise, and repeat until we are blue in the face, but even with our greatest efforts, our kids will still have a big ol meltdown in the middle of Target. Fact. And even if we teach them manners all day, at every meal, around every table, they will do things that make Emily Post turn over in her grave. And then, there’s that other evidence. The good stuff. When your years of hard work align perfectly with their behavior and you take a big sigh of pride. When you just want to give yourself a big pat on the back (or pour yourself a big glass of bubbly) for the fact that your kids are finally getting it. Praise Jesus.
To top off the wins and losses are the qualities that make up these kiddos in the first place. Their personality and natural talents/interests, are they strong-willed or more compliant, full of energy or mellow … And the list goes on. All of these pieces together are what make the world and this next generation so rad. We are in a time as mamas where we are free to encourage and parent our babies based on who they are as individuals. This also plays into how we shape and parent our kids. It’s a big job we have, no doubt. Just do me a solid and go easy on yourself. Remember the blame and credit balance the next time a meltdown happens or they do something awesome.
Back to my girl, Rachel, I want to leave you with a few of her words as an internal pep talk for this mama life:
“You can’t fail at a job you were created to do.”
“The intention to do well will see them through. I will do my best and I will trust my best is what God intended for these babies.”
“Being a perfect mom is a myth - but being a petty great mom, most of the time, is actually possible.”
Repeat these truths over and over until your heart and mind really, and I mean really, believe them. <3