Someone Else's Middle


Anyone else having a hard time easing into this Monday/Tuesday after a holiday weekend? Before I tackle my to-do list I wanted to share with you something I heard the other day and can relate to on a million levels. The majority of women who write to me ask about timelines and how long it took for my life and heart to look the way it does present-day. I always say there is no magic number or formula that will teleport you to the place of healing you desire. It’s a process and a long one at that. The reasons timelines don’t work in matters of the heart have a lot to do with just how personal the work is that needs to be done. What helped me may not be that same breakthrough for you. And that’s okay, but sometimes the hardest part is not what’s helping or not, but comparing where you’re at to someone a year ahead of you. The only person you’re allowed to compare yourself to is you. The you six months ago who couldn’t hear that song without crying and now listens to it and feels nothing. Or the you who is enjoying dinner at an old favorite restaurant where you and your ex shared many meals. Look at YOUR growth, not how it compares to the next person. A lot of time the ending you’re comparing your present-day self to took that person yearrrrrs of pain, recovery, and healing to get to. Keep that perspective as you enter into this week. Don’t compare your beginning to someone else’s middle. We are all at different places as a result of the healing and time we’ve put in. All that matters is YOUR progress. Celebrate the small victories and keep on moving forward.